What do you really want?

We are now into the last few weeks of August, fast approaching the change of Season, for some of you this is Spring and for some of us it is Autumn or Fall.

Every season change I take time to reflect on my life and ask myself 2 questions:

What do I really want?
How will I know when I have achieved this?

Enjoy the speech below and make today fantastic.

Love
Shelley


This was a speech made by Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Anna Quindlen at the graduation ceremony of at American university where she was awarded an Honorary PhD.

"I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. You will walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree: there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living.

But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk or your life on a bus or in a car or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart.

Not just your bank accounts but also your soul. People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is cold comfort on a winter's night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've received your test results and they're not so good.

Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my work stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the centre of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.

I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I am a good friend to my friends and them to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cut out. But I call them on the phone and I meet them for lunch. I would be rotten, at best mediocre, at my job if those other things were not true. You cannot be really first rate at your work if your work is all you are.

So here's what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger pay cheque, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon or found a lump in your breast?

Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze at the seaside, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water, or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a sweet with her thumb and first finger. Get a life in which you are not alone.

Find people you love, and who love you. And remember that love is not leisure, it is work. Pick up the phone. Send an email. Write a letter. Get a life in which you are generous. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted. Care so deeply about its goodness that you want to spread it around. Take money you would have spent on beer and give it to charity. Work in a soup kitchen. Be a big brother or sister.

All of you want to do well. But if you do not do good too, then doing well will never be enough. It is so easy to waste our lives, our days, our hours, and our minutes. It is so easy to take for granted the colour of our kids' eyes, the way the melody in a symphony rises and falls and disappears and rises again. It is so easy to exist instead of to live.

I learned to live many years ago. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and try to give some of it back because I believed in it, completely and utterly.

And I tried to do that, in part, by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the back yard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy.

And think of life as a terminal illness, because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion as it ought to be lived".

OUR ATTITUDE

Earlier this week a friend forwarded a youtube clip to me, about the world and Muslim demographics. Today it was forwarded to me by another friend.

I am not going to forward it on as I do not like the tone. This is my stuff, and my perception, because I truly believe that we get what we focus on. I live and teach this. I choose to live and to focus positively.

These projected statistics make perfect sense. Islam is the fastest growing religion in the world due to its high birth rates.

The face of Europe is changing. However, the propaganda is based on the assumption that all Muslims are bad, fundamentalists and dangerous.

It is our attitude to dealing with change in society that determines our path of Success.
The fact remains that only a tiny minority of Muslims are actual threats to the state, just like any other criminals. The state as a whole faces unprecedented threats due to globalization, and the changing nature and scope of their power.

Fundamentalist Muslims pose no more of a threat than violent Anti-Abortionists; Klu Klux clan members, Violent and Lawless Criminals, Racists; Anti-Semites and the like.

Muslims in Europe and America and Africa, have shown themselves to be law-abiding citizens who, while retaining their cultural practices, seek to be part of a society.

This sort of propaganda reminds me of Nazi Germany where the Jewish nation was classed as a threat for their growth and success.

People's fear of terrorist threats stemming from a few fundamentalist individuals, is rather short-sighted, presumptuous, and dare I say it, Racist, to class an entire nation of people as "dangerous."

The clip asserts an inherently problematic thesis: that as non-Muslims we need to unite against Islam- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? does it mean genocide/ openly racist policies - what ever it means, it cannot result in the creation of a peaceful, open, multicultural society.

My heart doubles in size when my Muslim friend's sons attend our son's Barmitzvahs.
I am go grateful for the Muslim girlfriends who have supported me as I have struggled
to create a new life in the UK, who have opened their hearts and homes, and arrive with trays of food while we have moved house, and comfort when we have lost a parent to cancer.

I have been so pleased to return the favour and provide flasks of Chicken Soup when they have flu, and to share a cup of tea, knowing that we want the same blessings from life ............ To be Successful, To Have Happy, Balanced Families and To Make A Difference.

I smile when I see our Jewish sons playing tennis and football with their Muslim friends in the park, knowing that the Values I live, they have adopted as their own.

I do know that these 3 Rules of the Universe are true, and it is with total gratitude that I give thanks to the two Mentors in my life, my two Aunts. Jacqueline, who taught me to raise the bar from a very early age, and Yvonne who instilled the follwing 3 Rules by which I live, and am constantly reminded of in my intimate relationships and life's challenges:

We Cannot EXPECT ANYONE to be the way we want them to be

We cannot BLAME ANYONE for how we feel

In Most Challenging situations when we cannot make headway, the only thing we can do is change our ATTITUDE.

I forwarded this perspective to many others this week, in the hope that we will all understand that there is so much we can't change, however the only thing
we can change is our ATTITUDES.

Together we can Live The Change We Want To See Happening Around Us.


Shelley

http://www.motivationsynergy.com/

I am back in London after spending 10 glorious days with family and friends in South Africa and attending my daughter's graduation.

This week I am "borrowing" today's thought from "The Universe"

May this be an amazing week for everyone.


Shelley




The Chinese say, "The best time to plant a tree was always 20 years ago. The second best time is always today." Funny how planting trees and taking action on the life of your dreams are the same that way.

It's NEVER too late for anything. Just start!

Gratitude

I have just finished reading "Full Circle" by SWAMI SUDDHANANDA, written after the death of his father. A poignant and candid account of his own life, his village roots and his family. More importantly he lays bare the emotions and grief attached to such an event, and alongside it he qualilfies the eternal flame that is life, and in which there is neither birth nor death. I must share his concluding comment:

"When enjoying life, be grateful to all, but while suffering emotionally please take a second look at yourself"

Life Lessons:

Life Lessons:

If you don't have the awareness to know that this is what's happening and deny personal responsibility for your role in the scenarios you're drawing into your life then these types of people - or teachers, will keep appearing in your life.

They'll continue to recycle in progressively more painful ways, until you see your role and your opportunity for advancement in each interaction.

The more you miss the lessons being presented, the more painful each event that carries them to you becomes, until a time eventually comes when you're suffering so much that your only option is to GET IT.

Your current reality is nothing more than a complete reflection of the lessons you most need to learn

About Me

I am a Certified Relationship Coach, and Bereavement Expert, working with an international clientele of individuals from various backgrounds.

South African born, I have lived in Europe, and have made my home in London, with my husband and 3 children. Equipped with good intercultural knowledge and a solid expertise in the process of CHANGE, my approach to personal transitions is direct and result oriented.

My background, (having lost my first husband to cancer, and now successfully, and very happily remarried), paired with compassion, and strong intuition, enable my clients to move toward success, easier and faster, than what they otherwise could without my professional support.

I am a gentle, and motivated coach, moving clients to higher performance with ease. My style evokes confidence and inspires others to find their own powerful place within, from where they live up to their own greatness.


“A Journey of a thousand Miles begins with a first Step” and the next step is yours.